1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
