You can't special order awesome
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
