Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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