what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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