No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
