she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
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So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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