She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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