she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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