Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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