I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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