the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
