Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
