you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
