Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
