Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
