it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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