I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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