I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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