It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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