so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
