Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
