We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
