eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
