So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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