just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
