I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
