Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
