I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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