Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
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