i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I can feel your judgement through the phone
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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