I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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