she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
