plz talk dirty to me
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
well you can't waste a boner
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
