i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
