he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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