I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
