the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
