Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
