I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
