Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
