i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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