Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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