i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
People in love make me want to vomit
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
