Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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