I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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