yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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