so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
