well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
