This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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