So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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