he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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