Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
