watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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