if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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