Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize