Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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