11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize