i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
