do herpes really smell.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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