Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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