just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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