i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
