I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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