She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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